Stop saying YES when you really want to say NO

Sometimes I find myself thinking why is it so important to please everyone, to the point that one starts feeling resentful and stressed about it. And it’s the case with almost every one of us.

When we want to blurt out a straight ‘NO’, we keep nodding our head in ‘YES’ and our inner self keeps on shouting damn idiot say “no, no, no, no  and no.”

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There are various reasons for which people find it difficult to say no. Sometimes, 

- In the fear of hurting someone,

- an obligation it is many times and

- the main cause is the fear of rejection which makes us say yes even when our heart really wants to say no.

The urge to say YES always also brings a lack of self-confidence and self-value.

Get yourself rid of the misconception that saying No will make you a bad person for other:

It is not rude to say no or it doesn’t mean you are selfish or unkind towards others. Have you ever thought that why it was so easy to say no when you were a kid and why it has become so difficult now!

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In childhood, if you ever said no to your parents, friends, or relatives, and so on, it would have been considered as being rude or got scolded for the same. It was considered as something off-limits. 

Now as adults, when you are more mature and capable of making your own choices, know the difference between right and wrong then saying no shouldn’t be something that is off-limits but your decision based on your own discretion. Learn to deal with your inner negative thoughts.

But the problem is your childhood beliefs are still so much into you that you still associate NO with being rude, unkind, or selfish. You still think that if you will say no you will end up with being alone, rejected, or abandoned.

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If you keep on living your life based on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy in this life span:

This thing will make you believe that their opinion of you is more important than your opinion about yourself rather than valuing yourself and your opinions. 

You need to remember your problems, your decisions, your mistakes don’t define you. You have to learn to embrace your flaws and love yourself unconditionally. Nobody is perfect in this world, and what makes a person great is his humbleness and not you are yes/no about anything. You are valuable, unique in your own wat and the best part is no one is you.

Before saying YES next time, please hold on and decide is it really worth it:

When you say yes to something, then thoughts perpetuate in mind and you start doubting the decision of saying yes and start finding the ways that can bring you out of this mess! What if you would have first thought about the anger, frustration and stress the situation brought you, and instead you would have straightforward said NO.

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When you will look back in the past you would realize that it is really of no worth to say yes when you actually don’t want to. You always have all right to say no and should not please people at the cost of your own happiness.

If you think that you should say NO on many occasions but not able to do, so here I am sharing some helpful tips which may help you in saying no-

  •  Start saying things directly, like “no, I can’t or sorry, I don’t want to!

  • Don’t lie to yourself or to the person in front of you. It will only lead to the feeling of guilt which you were trying to escape.

  • Remind yourself every time you are going to say yes when you don’t want to that saying no is a better option then regretting it later on. 

  • Stop apologizing and giving excuses and better end with being polite and say “thanks for asking”.

  •  Don’t procrastinate things by saying “I’ll think about it” if you don’t want to do that. This will put you in a situation where your stress and overthinking will increase.

If you don’t want to lose control of yourself, your freedom, or your happiness, then start saying no when you don’t want to accept something and empower your self-esteem and confidence. Find the long lost happiness back in your life and feel more joyful. 

You can also read: Some habits that will help you detoxify your body regularly

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